He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them

All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. 

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.